CAMDRAMETRICS

Witness the opening of the hottest new restaurant in town- “Worlds Of Sage” (it’s a reference, apparently) – a budding hivemind of culinary talent under the wing of former fleeting TV star Harold Beakman and their high-strung cousin. There’s an astonishing lack of organisation, a vampire-obsessed chef, three waiters without a brain cell between them, and apparently they’ll serve food at some point too.